you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
