Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
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