just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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