Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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