a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
