I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
