Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
