Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
