nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
