Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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