she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I can't turn off my feet"
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
