So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
