I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
