Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
