Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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