Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
