he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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