Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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