It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
They took my balls.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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