You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
not ubering you a puppy
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
