we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Randomize
