i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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