I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize