Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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