I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
