hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
