THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
