I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
