We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
