Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
