Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
