the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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