guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
