ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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