I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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