Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize