Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
