okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
