ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He shit in the fireplace
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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