Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize