He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
