I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
