I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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