watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
