Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My liver just broke up with me...
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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