If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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