I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
