i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
