for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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