and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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