so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
