We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
