my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
