OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Randomize
