Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
