get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
